07/30/98

I was with Walter and we were in my parents' kitchen.  He seemed very disconnected and unfeeling, like a robot.  I got upset with him and started saying nasty things to him, but he didn't seem to care.  I started throwing things and I was getting spoiled food out of the refrigerator and dumping it down the drain and cooking all at the same time.  I was slamming things around in a fury, spouting angry sentiments, but Walter didn't even react--he just kept looking at me with this cold, blank, vacant stare.  I told him, "I'll divorce you; and DON'T think I won't" and he just looked at me as if he knew I never would.  Finally after no response from him, I began to break down.  I started crying, crumbling into a ball on the floor, leaning up against the oven.  I said, "What happened to the man I fell in love with?  What happened to him?  He was full of life and happiness and emotion...the one that had simple dreams and wanted to go to Alaska and wanted to fly?"
Then later I was storming around the house, looking in vain for a calendar I knew that I had hidden somewhere...I was looking in a box full of a lot of my stuff, and I found a David Bowie record and I looked at the inner sleeve, hoping to find the calendar, but it wasn't there.  I looked other places in the house, but couldn't find it so I went back to this box and looked around and finally found it near the Bowie record but just not inside it....I thought it had a '98 calendar as well, but where it showed a tiny representation of it, each month had a different band photo on it, and I was disappointed (I don't know what I was looking for).  My sister and my mom were in the living room (where this box was) and as I was stuffing things back into the box (as well as stuffing some "bad guys" into the box) and they were re-writing the lyrics of the Firefall song "Just Remember I Love You" and were going to sing it to me to cheer me up.  As my sister began to sing, I pointed my finger at her face and said, "DON'T---Just don't.  I am NOT in the mood."  Then she started saying something about how she had been "prepared" when Nick (her husband) "changed", as if I was supposed to be okay with the fact that Walter had turned into a Stepford husband.
Then there were people all over the house, like there was a party going on.  The doorbell rang, and some black guy went and opened the door and walked away down the hall in a hurry.  I went to the door and 3-4 black guys were standing there and were asking for some guy by name.  I looked confused at them for a moment because I didn't recognize the name (it was like "Julio" or something) and finally one of them said, "The guy that answered the door" and I said, "oh, him", and began to wonder if he was in trouble or something, because he had told me his name was something other than Julio (that and he had rushed off down the hall).
Then I was wandering around in something like a CD-Rom game where I was trying to get away from bad guys who were after me.  I was also looking for a bathroom and went into this room that was supposed to be a nursery, but it was filled with junk and was terribly cluttered.  There was this bucket that had compartments in it that you were supposed to be able to access to use as a toilet.  One part was lined with diapers so that infants could use it; another part was supposed to be lined with plastic for adults to use.  I couldn't get the compartment to work right, and it really wasn't lined properly with plastic anyway.  I saw a squirrel/rabbit nearby and asked him how it was supposed to work and he said, "Go to 75th and 4th" so I opened this compartment (that was now like a book) to what was supposed to be 75th and 4th, but the pages were missing.  I said, "The pages are gone!" and then started petting the rabbit, but he got agitated with me and was squirming away, saying, "Go away.  I'm trying to sleep."  Then I went outside where I saw this building that had a second story platform, and all these policemen were standing around because they had just caught the bad guys.  On this platform was nothing except 5-6 policemen and a lone toilet.  I went up to the platform and the policemen accosted me as if they needed to search me for weapons.  I said, "I just want to use the toilet!" and began to wonder to myself if I was gonna have to go right there in front of all these policemen.  Then this evil doctor appeared with his young female assistant and he was trying to get me to use a wide-mouthed Mountain Dew bottle lined with a paper specimen cup.  I got suspicious, and said, "No, you would probably take my specimen and taint it and then prove to everyone that my test came out positive, and ruin me."
Later there was something I was looking at, like a CD insert where there were naked pictures of each of the members of Def Leppard.  They were each lying on a couch, trying to look sexy.  Underneath the picture of Rick Allen (the drummer) there was this quote from him that said, "When I get home, my wife is a very lucky woman."

**Remember:  This is ONLY a DREAM!**